Inspired (unfortunately as usual) by my roommate's old eating habits. There was a period when our freezer looked like a Totino's window display. Now it just has a bag of meatballs I bought at IKEA two months ago. Are those still good?

Every now and again — especially around new-freshman time of year — those nasty little Free Buffet coupons appear in our door clips, enticing unwitting freshmen to Cici's to discover they have to sign up for a credit card. Everyone thinks this is a ridiculous scheme run by serious lowlifes, but I guess they get enough business to keep flyering us shamelessly.